Searching for phones online is like having an identity crisis.
Allow me to illustrate. Like the innocent doe lapping water from the stream you peruse the AT&T phone page. Swathed in the soft blanket of false advertising, you search for the phone that best represents unique little you. Compare and Contrast. "The pictures look nice. The green check marks are all there! Ah, yes, email capabilities, 4G connectivity. This one looks good." Then you search out the negative customer reviews. Without warning, the facade of placidity cracks, and you find yourself hunched over the computer, like Dr. Jeckyl, questioning your ability to make sound decisions. Your mouth feels stuffed with cotton as you consider the ramifications of buying the wrong phone; fighting a losing battle with rationalization. Alas! Your confidence deflates like last week's birthday balloon.
It was in this anguished state; mentally writhing, struggling with the beast of consumerism, that these words sprung from my breast, like Athena from the crown of Zeus.
Every time I find a phone I like on at&t.com I read the customer reviews;
People are all damning the phone to hell.
At&t's stupid website is making me question my judgment.
My palms get sweaty,
The bottomless maw of anxiety threatens my search
Oh god.
I'm going to get a bad phone no matter what.
Oh god.
Give me a damn pager.
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